These past few days have been very uncertain, and so are the days ahead. I've been recognizing how good I have it, but I always want more...I'm worried that if this truly happens, I'll throw away what I've been given for the risk of something better, but the something better will be something worse...I find myself worrying even though I know only time will tell...it's all whatever God desires.
So there is this boy that I'm fond of who I hadn't heard from in over a week. It's a challenge to hold a conversation with him, as it's never in person, and he's always disappearing and abandoning me. He causes me a lot of heartache, but I keep praying. I've never been as close to a boy as I have to this one. Today I felt like I was going to lose it if I didn't hear from him, and miraculously, he replied to me! But the conversation didn't get far, of course, but I know he's going through a rough time. I always embarrass myself a bit, trying to get him to come back after he disappears, but he does come back, and I always feel foolish for getting so worked up. I can't let myself blame myself though. I know that I can't just excuse all of his faults, but he's not perfect, and I always forgive him because I do care about him.
I don't see myself being with him the rest of my life, but he's important to me right now, and I know that God will help me through my difficulties with him. Also, I thank Him, I do thank Him for getting me this far and always proving me wrong, surprising me with His miracles.
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